Don’t be left broke and broken-hearted!

How to spot a romance scam before you fall for one

Despite the name, romance scams are heartbreaking. In fact, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) reported Aussies lost over $23.5 million to romance scammers in 2024 alone*. And the older you or your loved ones are, the more at risk you or they could be. So it pays to know how to spot one before you fall head over heels for one.

What’s a romance scam?

A romance scam (also known as dating scams) is when a scammer pretends to show you love or friendship and forms a relationship with the intention of stealing your money.

But ultimately, it will break your heart as well as your bank.

Age is no protection

Unfortunately, the wisdom of age offers no protection against romance scams.

In 2023, the ACCC identified Aussies aged 55 to 64 lost the most – over $10.6 million – to romance scams. Those aged 65 and over came second, losing in excess of $7.6 million to less-than-loving scammers.

How it works

First, the scammer will usually contact you through social media or an online dating site to start a conversation, then increasingly contact you to express their growing affection.
Next, the scammer will start asking for money to help with a supposed family emergency, travel costs or to take advantage of an investment opportunity, like cryptocurrency.
Then, often the scammer will say you need to keep making payments so you can keep making a return or to stop the account from being frozen.
Finally, when you run out of money or refuse to invest more, the scammer will cut all ties and suddenly disappear with your heart and cash.

Here’s how it happened to Dina

ING customer Dina* was contacted by a stranger on Instagram, who loved her posts and soon professed their love for her too.

The conversation moved over to WhatsApp and after about a few months of messaging, they asked Dina to transfer some funds to take advantage of a rare crypto investment opportunity.

The more Dina puts in, they said, the more she’ll make.

But after transferring thousands of dollars, Dina said enough was enough, at which point both the stranger and money disappeared.

* Name changed for privacy.

6 signs it’s a romance scam

Every crime has it’s ulterior motive, so here are some good clues it’s a romance scam.

A stranger expresses strong feelings quickly and the relationship moves fast.
They try to move the conversation to an alternative, encrypted service like WhatsApp.
Their online profile and what they say about themselves don’t match.
They always have an excuse for not being on camera or meeting in person.
They encourage secrecy and to only trust them over your family and friends.
They get angry or threaten to end the relationship if you don’t do what they ask.

Specific things you can do

To help avoid romance scams you should:

Take things slowly and ask lots of questions
Search their name + the word ‘scam’ to see if they’re a known scammer
Never share personal details or money with people you don’t really know
Never send intimate pictures or videos of yourself as they can be used for blackmail
Don’t keep your relationship secret as people you know may help spot warning signs

Be on the lookout for those you love

Love can be blind, as the saying goes. So often it falls to family and friends to recognise that someone they know may have been sucked into romance scam. If you’re worried a relative or friend is being scammed, you should speak to them about your concerns.

Other ways you can help include:

Pointing out similarities between their relationship and case studies
Googling the scammer’s name and doing a reverse image search of any photos
they’ve sent to see if they’ve been reported on any scam sites
Encouraging them to report the matter to the police or Scamwatch, especially if they’ve sent money.

Better yet: Stop, Reflect & Protect

Whatever the type of scam, keeping these simple steps top of mind could help prevent you from becoming a scam statistic.

3 steps to spot scams before they find you

Stop. Before sharing any details or money, take a breather to assess if you really know or trust who’s asking.
Reflect. Ask yourself: ‘Could this person and their love all be fake?’
Protect. Don’t wait to act if things seem fishy – don’t proceed and if you’re an ING customer and notice unusual activity on your account, place your card on hold in the ING App and call our 24/7 scams line on 1800 052 743.

More useful resources

ING. For our latest security alerts and more ways ING can help to protect you and your money, visit ing.com.au/security
Scamwatch. To report a scam and get up-to-date information on how to avoid the latest scams targeting Australians, visit scamwatch.gov.au
IDCARE. For free advice on how to respond to data breaches, scams, identity theft and cyber security concerns, visit idcare.org

*The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (2025), https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/research-and-resources/scam-statistics

ING does not endorse and is not affiliated with third parties mentioned in this article. ING is not responsible for any services provided by third parties nor does ING accept any liability or responsibility arising in any way from any products or services supplied by the third parties.

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